Are parents truly listening? Expert explains how emotional presence shapes a child’s future

Parenting is often difficult, especially when parents are trying to balance office work, house duties, and family needs. Many parents talk to their children while checking emails, scrolling their phones, or thinking about deadlines. They think they are listening, but children can feel when adults are not really paying attention. According to psychologist and psychotherapist Tanushri Tejas Talekar, emotional presence from parents plays a major role in children’s development and self-image.

She explains that raising a child is not only about food, schooling, or providing clothes. Children grow stronger when they feel safe, understood, and emotionally supported. When parents are distracted, even without meaning to be, children notice. Over time, they may feel ignored, unimportant, or distant from their family. This emotional distance can shape how they react to the world and how they feel about themselves even in adulthood.

The expert adds that many parents misunderstand what emotional presence means. It does not mean being perfect, always available, or stopping discipline. It also does not mean entertaining children every minute of the day. Emotional presence simply means paying real attention to what the child is feeling. Parents should focus on understanding the emotions behind the behaviour instead of reacting too quickly. Tanushri reminds parents that emotional presence is not measured in time but in attention. Even a few minutes of genuine focus can make a big difference.

She also explains that parents should not feel guilty if they are busy with work. What matters is the quality of the moments they share with their children. When parents gather the strength to be mentally present, children feel seen and valued.

The psychologist shares five daily habits that can help parents become more emotionally connected. First, start mornings with a simple emotional check-in. Instead of only asking about schedules or homework, parents can ask how the child feels about the day ahead. Second, before reacting to misbehaviour, parents can pause and think about what the child might be experiencing. Third, set aside even a few minutes where parents give their full attention without phones or multitasking. Fourth, help children name their emotions without shame so they can learn emotional vocabulary. Finally, end the day with a bonding routine like talking, gratitude, or storytelling. This strengthens the child’s feeling of safety and support.

When parents are emotionally present, children become stronger and more confident. They learn healthy ways to handle stress, face challenges, and stay calm in difficult situations. They grow up with better emotional regulation and the ability to cope without fear. They don’t avoid problems; instead, they face them with a sense of self-belief.

However, children who grow up with emotionally distant parents may face the opposite experience. They may hide their feelings, suppress them, or over-state emotions just to be noticed. These patterns continue into adulthood and can affect relationships, work, and self-worth.

Therefore, a few moments of true listening each day can change a child’s life. When parents show curiosity, ask follow-up questions, and listen with full presence, children feel valued. They feel that the person they trust the most truly hears them. This emotional connection gives children the strength to face the world with confidence and heart.